Self-Care, Mindset, and Perfectionism
This blog post is from a series I created for Instagram. It is my story, one that flowed through me late one evening after a walk.
Take care of YOU, so you can show up at your authentic self in the world.
Go to IG to see the whole story.
When creating a new goal or creating a routine for your life, there will always be obstacles, challenges, and set backs. It’s not “if” you mess up, it’s when.
When creating something new - it starts by taking one step forward. It starts with one decision…
I’m a recovering perfectionist.
I’ve been on the road to health and healing a loooooong time. I intentionally started the journey 7 years ago, but I was floundering a long time before that…
The fear of failing would paralyze me BEFORE I even started the new goal/routine. So I hid. I was so good at it - I didn’t even realizing I was hiding. The comfort was so EASY.
I hid in a job where people would speak their brilliance and I quietly supported them from afar. I really liked it because I felt safe and was NEVER seen.
If I messed up, I REALLY cared. Because - you know - it had to be perfect!
But it was ok because I was a good “fixer” (everyone came to me to fix THEIR problems) so I always fixed it and only a few people would ever find out.
One day a couple years ago, I realized I finally had something to say. AND…no one was going to be able to say it but me. Because it had to be MY voice.
Well SH*T.
I’d spent so much time hiding, I had to figure out what it meant to speak up.
*cue* the insane thoughts. Every single one of them…You can’t do this. Who are you to say THAT. No one will listen.
But you know what, if I didn’t do what I knew in the bottom of my heart to be true. I would regret it. What I was doing, thinking, living, eating, drinking…was so stifling I couldn’t breathe.
If you asked me back then to describe how I was feeling I would say “I’m fine, things could be better…but I don’t know how to change it.”
I would never have describe it as stifling. But now that I’m on the other side of it. Now that I understand what it feels like… I’m finally living what I dreamed of…
✨A life that has purpose and meaning
✨A restored connection with my mother
✨A peace within my heart
✨An understanding, that I feel in my bones, that it is all going to be ok…even if it’s not perfect.
This all started with a willingness to take one chance, one step forward, I followed my curiosity. I allowed myself to believe that I was worthy of a bigger opportunity. Worthy of being seen.
And to be clear. I’m not talking about one decision I made. I am talking about a million decisions that I made that led me here, to you, today. One decision propelled me to the next.
If there is something on your mind, in your heart, within your atmosphere that is asking for your attention. Go there. Answer the door.
Your voice matters. Your happiness matters. Your comfort matters. Your healing matters.
There is a decision you need to make - and the only thing that is stopping you - is you. You gotta get your mind right…and take steps forward.
It will be hard. And it’s possible that you lose something along the way. But as long as you’re clear as to what is on the other side…it will be worth it.
I believe in you.
peace + love. ~L
